M.E

So there is a girl on Tumblr and I wanna be her friend. I think she wants to be mine too, she always likes the pics I post of myself and the posts about wanting a best friend, and I do the same to her. We've spoken a lot but idk. I just like her .

Partyin' partyin' YEAH!

I had the best night last night. Period. I know I haven't been out for a while anyway, but last night was literally the best ever. So much fun was had, and it was so hilarious. I was worried the people would be a bit, you know, to themselves and not like me, but they were so nice! And I made a new best friend; Emily Scott. She is a lovely, lovely girl and I love her loads already. I am just afraid that I will hardly see her, or anyone from the party, again. Not many people have parties, and the ones that do...I don't want to go to and they don't have those people. So I'll have to persuade Tom to have another party. Hopefully I become better friends with her, I'd really like to. I'm just scared that she wouldn't want to, but I'll take a risk. The most hilarious thing happened with us - I was giving her a piggy back because she had no shoes and we were looking for Sophie so she wasn't getting raped, then I started running and I fell somehow (God knows how) and smashed onto the floor. The next thing I knew she was laying on top of me and she rolled to the side in fits of laughter. But the most bizarre thing is that she was holding her drink and mine and when we fell they landed perfectly on the floor the right way up, just sitting next to each other in front of us. Hilarious. I fucking love her. I said it!

Peace up, A Town!

I'm free on the 7th at 7:00!

So I'm having one of my better days. Typical, huh?

I'm supposed to be going to Emilia's tomorrow to watch Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, but I'm not sure if I am - she hasn't replied. I don't really want to. Well, I do, I want to watch the film obviously, and I suppose it'd be nice to see her. But I just want to go and watch the film and then leave; which I don't presume will happen (or be acceptable). I'll have to contact her again tonight. I can't wait to see it. I think I'll be sobbing my eyes out though. I can't believe there isn't going to be any more films. Absolutely devastated, actually.

But now I'm feeling pretty shit - I had tea, which I wasn't going to have, and mum made a rice pudding so I had that too. Now I'm so fucking fat again. It's so unfair! I just want to look good, is that too much to ask? Apparently so. Fuck it.


On a lighter note, I changed my background on the laptop:

If you lived here, you'd be home now.

This is how I am right now.

As it's my first post, I'm not going to talk about too much shit. Anyway, no one's reading, so why should I waste time typing a load of shite on the internet? Right, I shouldn't.
Today hasn't been too bad - I've not felt as bad as normal. Although I am having trouble with dealing with how much I hate my weight. Well, not my weight, but just how I look. I want this fucking fat gone. It's not happening though. I've tried starving myself, but I can't last. And it's hard when your parents always cook crazy meals and expect you to eat, even though you told them not to make you any.

Fuck it.
I haven't cut for a week or so, either. So that's good. I'm planning, though. I need to schedule it so it's not so obvious. I know what I'm doing.
This is long enough - I don't like talking. Even through a computer.

For now.

Ladybird, ladybird, fly away home,

Your house is on fire; your children shall burn!